10 things.

.001 I have cramps. I just took some Bayer Aspirin. I had to look at the bottle to spell ASPIRIN.

.002 I have a new cake buddy. He puts me in such a good mood, but I have to stop myself and contain my jealous ways. I can't think about where it's gonna go, just where it is now.
.003 My mother is petty. NO I didn't mean to type pretty.
.004 I love my dog.
.005 I'm extremely relieved that my period came. Point blank...WRAP IT UP>
.006 I like spending time with my dad, but he is a slow walker. I hate slow walkers.
.007 I enjoy being nice, happy, calm, and relaxed. I need to work on staying in this state of mind.
.008 I haven't cried in a while
.009 I flat out FELL DOWN today. I was embarrassed. This white lady saw me...I think she laughed....BITCH. I would of laughed at her too though.
.010 After this I'll probably go be nosey and look at this irritating girl's blog. She's so pretty, but her speech and grammar is ridiculously poor. If I was a guy looking at her, it would make her far less attractive to me.
.011 Ummm. I thought I had something to say...but I guess I really don't.
.012 Oh yea. I'm just as cute as some of these NFLr's wives, GF's and pop-off's...where the hell is my fine ass professional athlete?

*Miranda Preesley from Devil Wears Prada voice*
That's All.

Emu etc.

Alright.
So EMU is officially a GO!
Congratulate me!
Also, operation bangin' ass amazing apartment is a GO!
Signed my lease on a beautiful 3 bedroom 3 bath apartment.
Not let's just hope that I get some wonderful, amazing room mates.
I've decided to do black and white with a splash of hot pink as my color theme.
I'm so amped, juiced, jazzed, and flat out excited.

I've noticed my strange obsession with reality tv, youtube, and other people's blogs.
I love to watch and read about other people.
I wonder if there is someone out there watching and reading about me?
I doubt it.

Things with the new guy are going pretty well.
After I basically sabotaged myself earlier in the week.
We had a pretty good convo today.
I bought new stuff for my face. I couldn't remember what I used before that cleared it up.
Hopefully this does the trick.
I really have to curb my appetite. Though I think this is just a PMS symptom.
Amen for my period coming on soon.

Going to a baseball game with my dad Tuesday night. It's gonna be a long day, but I don't care.
I think its good that I'm spending time with him.
I worry about him a lot.
I'm sad that I'll have to leave BamBam here with my parents, but I know they will take good care of him.
I'm going to make a conscience effort for my social life to be great at EMU.
BUT my number ONE focus is and will always be school.

The days seem to go faster since I'm working now.
Even the weeks seem to go faster.
Which is good. I don't need those slow, uncomfortable days lagging on anymore.

That's all for now.
Maybe more later.

Quotation.Devistation

"I love your father; he is the greatest man." my mother said dreamily staring into a glass of white wine.

"It's so hard to continue and to smile when your heart just isn't in it any more. To be expected to entertain and oblige, it's just..." my father sputtered drifting off into the task of hiding his tears and taking a bite of nacho.

I notice myself looking at them much different. Staring into the open space between them and wondering how to appear as if I don't care.

Alright so....
I guess good things really do come in small packages. I'm going to leave it at that.

In other news. I want my weave...NOW. I want it. I dream about myself with it.

10 things about me.
1. I'm addicted to reality T.V.
2. Ignorance bothers me.
3. I'm over sensitive.
4.I'm picky.
5.I talk to myself while driving.
6.I pop my gum.
7.I'm not the best listener, but I try.
8.I can be a nympho.
9.I'm scared of the dark.
10.I want breast implants. Because I love breasts.

Wow...this entry has become so random. During the day I'm always thinking of things and saying, "Damn, I should blog about that." and I never do. When I finally sit down to blog...I can't remember half of that stuff.

Heavy.

Yea.

I want a boyfriend.
I'm stressed, sexually frustrated, un-easy, and all fired up.
WHY is it that EVERY male I meet has some type of enormous baggage. Pretty Face 989 has a baby on the way and thinks I'm just going to ignore it and go on like nothing is going to change. Puffy Lips is quite clearly still in love with his ex. Nosey is a liar and I will never trust him again.
Africa was a liar who had a gf, but the sex was AMAZING.
McDonald can't give me enough time AND he has a kid. Moneybags is long gone, and probably broke as hell. He was ugly in the first place.
When does it end?
This long terrible chain of unavailable and unacceptable nigga.
It's hard to imagine things getting any better. I have no trust or compassion for niggas any more. I don't enjoy talking to them and letting them get to know me. I've forgotten how to flirt, and be that coy sweetheart I used to be. I feel like I've fallen prey to too many players, pimps, and male hoes and now I have no clue how to make the right decision.
The envy and sadness in my eyes is overwhelming as I see all my ex-boyfriends and ex crushes are in relationships or damn near married. I was never an envious person....I was always a jealous person.
My wants and needs are jumbled and twisted up, some are even torn apart or ripped to shreds. When I was with Moneybags, physical attraction became very low on my scale, and cash and flash was all I thought I needed to get by. I was willing to forgive him for late nights, bad habits and slip ups just because of the things I knew he could and would do for me. In the end he let me down and helped put me in the situation I am in now. Now that the cash and flash is pretty much gone, his appeal is as well. Pretty Face 989 continues to play with my feelings. He toys with me for the fun of it I think. He won't commit, I don't think he wants to. He won't even let himself get close to me. We are close in the sense that we have a good physical relationship but mentally we are just getting by on 2 or 3 conversations a week and a few myspace and facebook messages/arguments. It's not enough for me.
McDonald and Nosey both pop in and out of my life on occasion. I'll always have a connection with both of them. Too much was invested to lose it. OH, and How could I forget about Prada Boots?? He's a case of unavailable. His high expectations far exceed his meager reality. His swagger was the only thing that carried us this far.
Warr is a puzzle I haven't quite solved. His innocent eyes, good job, and sometimes modest behavior make me feel as though I should be taking advantage. But his "Grab-Assy" behavior makes me turn my nose up in disgust and also wonder if he's putting on a front. More to come....no clue what I will do next.