I want a boyfriend.
I'm stressed, sexually frustrated, un-easy, and all fired up.
WHY is it that EVERY male I meet has some type of enormous baggage. Pretty Face 989 has a baby on the way and thinks I'm just going to ignore it and go on like nothing is going to change. Puffy Lips is quite clearly still in love with his ex. Nosey is a liar and I will never trust him again.
Africa was a liar who had a gf, but the sex was AMAZING.
McDonald can't give me enough time AND he has a kid. Moneybags is long gone, and probably broke as hell. He was ugly in the first place.
When does it end?
This long terrible chain of unavailable and unacceptable nigga.
It's hard to imagine things getting any better. I have no trust or compassion for niggas any more. I don't enjoy talking to them and letting them get to know me. I've forgotten how to flirt, and be that coy sweetheart I used to be. I feel like I've fallen prey to too many players, pimps, and male hoes and now I have no clue how to make the right decision.
The envy and sadness in my eyes is overwhelming as I see all my ex-boyfriends and ex crushes are in relationships or damn near married. I was never an envious person....I was always a jealous person.
My wants and needs are jumbled and twisted up, some are even torn apart or ripped to shreds. When I was with Moneybags, physical attraction became very low on my scale, and cash and flash was all I thought I needed to get by. I was willing to forgive him for late nights, bad habits and slip ups just because of the things I knew he could and would do for me. In the end he let me down and helped put me in the situation I am in now. Now that the cash and flash is pretty much gone, his appeal is as well. Pretty Face 989 continues to play with my feelings. He toys with me for the fun of it I think. He won't commit, I don't think he wants to. He won't even let himself get close to me. We are close in the sense that we have a good physical relationship but mentally we are just getting by on 2 or 3 conversations a week and a few myspace and facebook messages/arguments. It's not enough for me.
McDonald and Nosey both pop in and out of my life on occasion. I'll always have a connection with both of them. Too much was invested to lose it. OH, and How could I forget about Prada Boots?? He's a case of unavailable. His high expectations far exceed his meager reality. His swagger was the only thing that carried us this far.
Warr is a puzzle I haven't quite solved. His innocent eyes, good job, and sometimes modest behavior make me feel as though I should be taking advantage. But his "Grab-Assy" behavior makes me turn my nose up in disgust and also wonder if he's putting on a front. More to come....no clue what I will do next.
I'm stressed, sexually frustrated, un-easy, and all fired up.
WHY is it that EVERY male I meet has some type of enormous baggage. Pretty Face 989 has a baby on the way and thinks I'm just going to ignore it and go on like nothing is going to change. Puffy Lips is quite clearly still in love with his ex. Nosey is a liar and I will never trust him again.
Africa was a liar who had a gf, but the sex was AMAZING.
McDonald can't give me enough time AND he has a kid. Moneybags is long gone, and probably broke as hell. He was ugly in the first place.
When does it end?
This long terrible chain of unavailable and unacceptable nigga.
It's hard to imagine things getting any better. I have no trust or compassion for niggas any more. I don't enjoy talking to them and letting them get to know me. I've forgotten how to flirt, and be that coy sweetheart I used to be. I feel like I've fallen prey to too many players, pimps, and male hoes and now I have no clue how to make the right decision.
The envy and sadness in my eyes is overwhelming as I see all my ex-boyfriends and ex crushes are in relationships or damn near married. I was never an envious person....I was always a jealous person.
My wants and needs are jumbled and twisted up, some are even torn apart or ripped to shreds. When I was with Moneybags, physical attraction became very low on my scale, and cash and flash was all I thought I needed to get by. I was willing to forgive him for late nights, bad habits and slip ups just because of the things I knew he could and would do for me. In the end he let me down and helped put me in the situation I am in now. Now that the cash and flash is pretty much gone, his appeal is as well. Pretty Face 989 continues to play with my feelings. He toys with me for the fun of it I think. He won't commit, I don't think he wants to. He won't even let himself get close to me. We are close in the sense that we have a good physical relationship but mentally we are just getting by on 2 or 3 conversations a week and a few myspace and facebook messages/arguments. It's not enough for me.
McDonald and Nosey both pop in and out of my life on occasion. I'll always have a connection with both of them. Too much was invested to lose it. OH, and How could I forget about Prada Boots?? He's a case of unavailable. His high expectations far exceed his meager reality. His swagger was the only thing that carried us this far.
Warr is a puzzle I haven't quite solved. His innocent eyes, good job, and sometimes modest behavior make me feel as though I should be taking advantage. But his "Grab-Assy" behavior makes me turn my nose up in disgust and also wonder if he's putting on a front. More to come....no clue what I will do next.
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