Jealous Ones Still Envy

Alright. It's been a minute. I've been eating too much...as usual. I want a boyfriend. Ian is trying to inch his lil ass back in my life. And I'm feeling a little useless when it comes to him. Why do I always fall back in? WHY WHY WHY? What does he have to offer me, mentally, physically, financially? Can I keep banking on potential? I used to be embarrassed about meeting guys on the internet....but Saginaw is not the place to meet any kind of eligible bachelor. I know that I can be harsh at times....REALLY harsh. This makes me wonder why I tend to be so sensitive. I'm picky and finicky about most things. I like to think I'm telling the truth a lot more then I used to, but at the cost of what? Anwar told me that I really don't have any tact. In his case, I kind of don't. He's a good guy, but I get the "male whore" vibe from him. That makes it hard for me to let things slide. I still can't believe that officer Evans tried to get my number....I still can't believe I didn't pick up on the flirtation. Now I've noticed that none of the women in the building stand around and talk to those triffling ass men. Officer Brown reminds me of someone's drunk country ass uncle. He has a stank attitude and it seems like he thinks he's far more attractive than he truthfully is. Mrs. Johnson is truly a role model, I like the way she handles herself. I almost said I can't believe that Erica from BHBJ is pregnant. But I can. She is happy with her life and her man, and I can't hate on that like other people probably do. She's going to be a good mom, she's been through a lot and I'm sure she doesn't want her baby to have to deal with all of that. As far as Remius goes... I wish him luck but I honestly want us both to move on. This little half ass lingering relationship we have continued to have is just a waste of time. Lord please help me NOT fall for an internet pimpin dude.

I won't.

2 more weeks of work, then August is the fun month. Parents should be content and quiet, and I'll find things to do and places to go that won't cost me much $$$$$.

I hope I get my room mate letter soon. I want to know who these bitches are! And GOD forbid I get 2 young ass 18 yr olds. I don't have time to make liquor runs and deal with immature company. I'm going to do my best to spread my wings and become a social butterfly..WOW that was corny. But it's the truth. I'd like to make friends and go out and have FUN! Make memories. Well at least I know for sure that my room will be cute. At least it better be *sits back thinking of decor*..........

I like attention, but I don't like anyone calling me all the time, questioning the hell outta me about my wherebouts and plans. I like guys that care, not jealous ragers. Don't call me questioning me about what I'm going to do, where I'm going, why I didn't call you. I hate it when people call and tell me..."I called you earlier." it makes me want to say "Nigga I know. I didn't feel like talking to your dumb ass so I ignored the shit out of you and went on about my business. Any more dumb fuckin comments?" LOL. I know I'm mean and easily irritated, but at least I know. I'm working on it, and with some people it's much easier to cover it up then with others.

Contemplating finding a way to post vids on youtube.com...who knows if that will happen.

Gotta wash my hair...
PS. Love that I look like a psycho killer in the pic above.